Just a question?

I get the after school thing with Mom and Dad working and all but infant care???? Why even have kids if your not gonna raise them???? Is cost of living really that high or is it just to maintain a lifestyle?????

Our neighbor worked and paid for child care for two kids and at the end of the month she was only making $100.00...not really worth it if you ask me

Im a Captain in the Army with our first on the way. My wife is not going to work and we have budgeted our money so that she doesnt have to work unless she wants to when the kids are school age.

When you think about it the child care people see most kids more than their parents.....??????

Tim

PS- (FLAME AWAY)

Not digging on anyone, but I agree with you. My wife and I planned to have children etc. a whole year prior to trying to conceive. I shifted money around etc. so she wouldn't have to work and it's been great. A lot of people don't have that luxury I guess. My brother has two children and they basically see them on the weekends. How's that parenting?

I could understand if it were a necessity that both parents work in order to put food in their tummies and clothes on their backs. But in order to maintain the ability to drive two expensive cars or buy expensive toys for the house well......??????

Kids shouldnt care about material things. They should care that Mom and Dad want to spend time with them when the kids are the focus of attention not the 60in HDTV with 60000 channels and surround sound.

Tim

Both me and my wife working and my daughter going to Daycare has been real bad for my 3 year old - 4 next month. She can read and write her entire alphabet, she can count to 30, She knows all her shapes - Including a Parallelogram, she knows all of her colors - Even Violet and Mauve. She can write her own name and is working on Mummy & Daddys names now. She has her own computer and knows how to type simple words - Dog, Cat etc. Plus her name, she can surf NickJnr.com and play all the games and watch all the videos on her own.

Yes - we have a bunch of nice things, TV, Computers, Cars etc. Live in our own house - because we worked for it and wanted to live well by both working. Our daughter doesn't want for clothes or shoes or food, she has nice things.

On the flip side. My wifes cousin is a stay at home mum, if she could be considered a mum. She ignores the kids as much as possible because they driver her crazy spending every waking minute with them. She sleeps in bed until noon while the kids get up and do their own thing, she rents an apartment because they can't afford a house, near the end of every month when they run out of money they scrounge from family and spend a bunch of time at my wifes Grandmothers house, who feeds them and practically buys all of the clothes and toys for the kids. Her 5 year old doesn't even know basic colors or how to count to 10, he starts Kindergarten this year and will likely struggle to graduate in his first year.

I know what situation I'd prefer to raise my daughter in.

You can debate the "well my kids are this" or "my neighbors kids are that" till your blue in the face man. Im just asking the question of why???? You didnt answer that question for me. You said you have all this nice stuff and youve worked for your own home but couldnt all that have been done with one person staying and raising the kids???? From your above post it sounds like you have pawned the duty of raising your kids off on a daycare. Sounds like it was a good decision but who is raising your kid???

Tim

Why - I guess because my wife considers herself a modern women and doesn't want to be labeled as a house wife. She wants to go out and work so she can have nice things, rather than struggling to get by on my income. We are certainly raising our child, the daycare does a good job of looking after her and teaching her.

You're argument is similar to people who home school their kids. When you send your kids to school, who is raising them then? I definitely see benefits in home schooling from a learning standpoint - not that me & my wife are qualified teachers. Yet from a social standpoint, I definitely think that school with other kids is the way to go.

Cool....thats all I wanted to know. Its a personal decison you and your wife are fine with it some arent as long as the kids are happy that is all that really matters.

Tim

PS- Personally I feel that home schooling is an excuse for overprotective parents to not allow their children to grow up or socialize normally....but that is another thread!!!!!

I'm in Rinky's camp.

My daughter was in Montessori school for about a year. That was $200.00 a week when she was 5. She loved it, but with her mom and I separating, we couldn't afford it anymore so now she is in public school.

Montessori school is totally worth it if you can swing the cost.

Once again, not digging on anyone.

My daughter just turned 3. She's completely potty trained. Was walking at 7 months. She can speak very well. Knows her alphabet and numbers up to 20, can add up to 4, can read/spell/write small words (cat, and, the, dog, etc.) and uses the computer very well. She can spell her name, knows both of our cell phone numbers, and our complete address. She's already in preschool a year and a half early. We are extremely social and do a lot of activities with her (going to the parks, playdates, museum, zoo, library, etc.), we read to her every single day. We had to get her tested because she was "maturing" faster than we anticipated and thought that maybe she had a "problem" of one sort or another (aspergers runs in my family). She tested out at almost the five year old level.

I don't know if it has anything to do with my wife being a fulltime "homemaker" or not, but if you get my daughter together with a bunch of kids her own age, she is always the ring leader and she always stands out. She'd much rather play with the older children.

My question. If a woman decides to stay at home, is she any less of a "modern" woman for it? I think a lot of women feel "weaker" if they can't say they work for a living. Most of my wife's friends are like that. I know they'd rather stay home, but feel like they would be looked down upon.

Either way it's all good as long as you love your children and they love you.

xterra3202

You're an Army Captain right? I waited till I was retired from the Navy after 20 years to have children. Just so I would not leave them to go on deployment. How is what you're doing different from me having my children in child care? what is the deployment cycle for Army? 18 months or twelve? Don't get me wrong what we do is valuable for our country. But will you not miss out on the developmental progress your child is making and do so willingly? Have you seen the developmental problems young children have when one parent is missing either through deployment or through separation as one other poster has told us.
I see my children each and every night. I go over their day with them and take them on a walk, all the while knowing I could never have done that while I was active duty. I have arrived at the pier from a 6 month deployment too many times to count and watched children screaming to get away from this stranger in the white crackerjacks. It is truly heart wrenching. My children will never have their daddy leave for a deployment. I'm sure your children will turn out just fine, but the daily contact is what I won't have to do without.

I work from home. But while our baby is in diapers, there is no way I can take him/her out on calls with me cuase I just dont have the time to stop to change it and not be late to calls. Once they are older I will most likely have them going with me for work,

I was happy when the days of childcare and the expence were over. Now my daughter is going to college next year...I wish I was paying for daycare instead.