Hey, now that the coast guard falls under homeland security, There is one branch of the military that needs to be filled. (pentagon, five branches of the military... you know.) I say we develop a homosexual branch of the military. Their insignia can have lavender triangles, red ribbons, rainbow insignias etc. as long as the uniforms are incredibly fashionable, and the colors don't clash.

This elite fighting unit would be trained to pound on the enemy's chest screeching, "you beast!" and "I'll scratch your eyes out." They wouldn't be issued AR-15's, they'd be issued curling irons and sissors. Their mission? To trim and shave all those "hairy people" mentioned earlier. The mess and lodging accomodations would be modeled on that of the YMCA and Cher, Bette Midler or Barbra Striesand would be the General in charge of the troops.

It could work.