Seriously, people. Is this what you've become?

I took two months away from XOC. Sixty days to kinda take a break. No big deal, just felt like NYIdidn'ttakemyMedman's snuff films and the reaction of people saying "what, no big deal, watching Mexicans killing themselves is hilarious" conversation kinda tested my faith in my fellow man. So I walked away, but I missed it in here. I missed some of the laughs, people jabbing the shit out of each other, the whole thing.

But honestly, it's worse than ever in here. It seems like the lunatics have taken over the asylum. It's like owning a Nissan is conducive to some degenerative brain disorder or something. Sure, we've always had our knuckledraggers on XOC, but there was always a contingent of...I don't know...normal people to commiserate in being surrounded by wacky neanderthals.

I used to joke that coming on XOC was akin to watching retards hump each other, but quite honestly, I don't know that it's that much of a joke anymore. Sure, there might be humorous moments, but I'm starting to get grossed words, and that's pretty fucking hard to do. I'm getting the creeps, and not just because of Medman's snuff films.

No one seems to get the jokes, and everyone's got this bigass long face on, grumbling about the negro problem or mow down the Mexican and string up the muslim, blah blah blah. Faggots, liberals, conservatives, Christians, heathen scum, the French, Bush, Kerry, Gore, Cheney, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!!!!!

Everyone's all pissed off, moaning and whinging about a world they never noticed was fucked up before. It's fucking depressing, kids. Just watching you guys lose it, get more and more bitter, fucking dark days and no smiles...middle-aged cranky fucks crying in their barbecued chicken and fingering the velcro on their shoulder holster.

I'm not saying I'm gonna get pissy and leave and take my toys with me. But their may come a time when I start to type "xte..." in the address prompt and then change my mind, not because I can't handle the derision, not because I can't hold my own in the debate, but because I just don't have the stomach to hear you degrade, to hear you desperately hang on to some pathetic notion that you might be able to control the world around you, that your foot-stomping and hollering and jingoism might get you by another day.

There have been so many instances as of late when I leave here and I think, "Jesus, do people actually believe the bullshit, do they really have that much vitriol in them?" It is a weird little reminder that we're just a few amenities and a few civilities away from cattle cars, barbed wire and a bayonet in the back, and as much as I like to think that when the shit hits the fan, and things fall apart, that we'll stick together, we'll unite, days like this remind me that it's a pipe dream, wishful thinking, worth fuck-all. When it comes down to it, when it really gets ugly, there will be someone who will try to put their foot on your chest, and there will be someone else who watches it happen. When the walls crumble, everyone is gonna be someone's nigger.

In any case, I'm glad we get to have these talks. What would I do without you?