So...

since this has fully degraded....

This guy has this big oozing boil on his ass. No matter what he tries, it won't go away.

He sees doctor after doctor and no one can help until one day a doctor told him about a homeless guy that will treat his boil for a bottle of wine.

"Really?" says the guy. "Where can I find this guy?"

He was directed to a back alley by the bus station where he finds a homeless man with a cardboad sign that says:

BERNIE'S PUS SUCKING SERVICES. I TREAT BOILS FOR A BOTTLE OF WINE

The guy with the boil is curious, so he hands Bernie the bottle of wine and asks him how this works.

Bernie tells him that it pretty much...um....boils down to him dropping his drawers and he sucks the pus out of the boil so it can heal up.

The guy gags a little bit upon hearing this, but he's desparate, so he drops 'em.

Bernie says, "oooh, that's a NICE one! Let me get to work."

So he sucks and slurps and slups and sucks and it sounds like a shop vac cleaning up a backed up sewer in the basement.

He sucks some more, and suddenly, the guy with the boil feels this undeniable urge to fart. He holds it.

Bernie looks up..."You OK?"
"Yeah," says the guy.

Bernie keeps slurping the pus out of the boil. Suddenly, the guts gurgled, and the guy just couldn't hold it back any longer. He explodes a massive fart, right in Bernie's face.

Bernie stops sucking and looks up at the man.

"You know," he said, pus dribbling off his whiskers, "It's guys like you that really make my job disgusting!"