I started out with “Ward” a 1979 Caprice Classic station wagon. Two tone “rally” paint with the family truckster package. It ensured my continued virginity in high school. I sold it to buy a mountain bike.

Then came “the Z” it was a 1982 280ZX. I loved that car. I had it repainted and was getting ready fix some issues with the interior when someone pulled out in front of me. The Z came to an unglorified end in the side of a Chevette that was filled with open buckets of latex paint. Unfortunately, there was an unsecured kid in the right seat. With their clever ambulance chasing lawyer, the Chevette driver got enough money pay off his house and set up his kid’s trust fund. The lawyer replaced his S600 with a new one.

With the money I got from the Z, bought “Chester” my little 1987 323. Chester and I had many good miles including several trips to Colorado during college. Chester was sold to a Japaneese exchange student who paid $4000 for the car in $100 dollar bills. I spent the entire test drive counting money from a paper bag.

Next was Norm, my cherry ’85 CJ-7. I still have norm after 120K miles and many, many modifications. Norm served as a daily driver for several years, but had spent the last dozen as a toy. I will never part with that thing. Sniff….

Next was a series of Chevy trucks: “Bluto” a 92 Chevy P/U that suffered from a failing fuel pumps and a set of previous owner installed glass packs, and “Clint” a black ’92 4wd Suburban that I smashed up twice as I was trying to sell it. One wreck involved my own Jeep, the other involved a chicken and an abandoned tractor trailer.

Before the X I had car known as the “Golden Bubble,” the “Space Pod” and the “Barcalounger” interchangeably. It was a 1998 Chrysler Concorde, not gold but platinum, thank you very much. I got it because it was great for the hundred mile commute (each way) I was forced to do several times a week. It got double the mileage of any of my last three cars and was almost twice as fast. It, much like my highschool ride, attracted the women. Too bad they were all over 80 and just wanted to know if it came in Perrywinkle. By the time I moved to Northern Virginia, I had tinted the windows. If I drove it fast enough wearing a dark suit, people would think I was the FBI and get out of the way. I donated it to the Salvation Army at 108K miles, still going strong. It was coming up on time to replace the timing belt and I didn’t feel like taking the winter tires off of it. Its probably sitting in a wrecking yard with bullet holes in it and 24 valves sticking through the hood.

My ’06 X OR is my first new car and remains un-named.

-Old Army