Don't do the bat thing. Attempted murder isn't good on a resume.

I'm guessing the wigger/Youtuber isn't the guy that broke into your house - most likely he just sold the bike for his "homie."

Anyone who buys a $3K+ bike for $300 probably knows it's stolen. I would assume they aren't going to hang on to it forever - maybe repost it on Craigslist or pawn it, but it's probably not Lance Armstrong you're dealing with.