State of the Union in an Xterrapin World...

100% Apologies to the Islamic world for insulting them by building the World Trade Center and Pentagon in the first place

Yassar Arafat named President of new Palestine state in area formerly occupied by Israeli Zionists. 5 Million Jews enter concentration camps

U.S. National Security authority transferred to United Nations Security Council

SUV outlawed in 2002. Replaced by the Soviet Lada touring sedan.

"Great Leap Backward" federal socialist program is started

Federal Law mandates that children require 3 parents. Mother, Father and one flaming homosexual.

Supermarkets are outlawed. Anyone who wants toilet paper must wait on government line for two days the way it was meant to be.