You know you own a 4WD when....
1. A new dent in the sheet metal actually fixed another dent, or it just added some character.
2. You know at least 3 1-800 numbers to aftermarket off-road business' by heart.
3. You are on a first name basis with the guys at every local auto parts store in town.LOL, yes, sad but true.
4. You want to take things apart and rebuild them, even if they are not broken.
5. You have a monetary equivalent of a Mercedes Sedan invested into your 4wd, but it still looks like crap.
6. You consider starting a vehicle five times in any given minute routine.
7. You own a vehicle, which now weighs 1000 pounds more than when it came off the showroom floor.
8. You look for 4wds in everything, and try to figure out the year and model.
9. You are the type of person who immediately goes postal if you sit in a highway traffic jam more than 5 minutes, yet you can spend six hours driving one and half miles and consider it to be a form of relaxation.
10. You'll stop and look at any old rusty heap thinking 'parts vehicle.'
11. Your 4wd has more (farm/boat/military/other) equipment on it than OEM parts.
12. The weatherman says "Stay in, it's dangerous" and you think "Time to go wheeling". HURRICANES= shit load of water= MUD
13. You are happy that you can't use 1st gear on the street.
14. A military convoy passes by and you only look at the axles, tires, and antennas.I thought everyone did that?
15. You have enough straps, chains, rope, etc. in your 4wd to keep the Queen Mary docked during a hurricane.
16. You understand that 4wd is a way of life, not just for transportation.
17. You use a hose to clean the inside and the outside.You bet your a$$ I do!
18. A low-rider Truck pulls up next to you, and you get out and ***** slap the driver.I'm not that much of an a$$hole
19. You have a high-water mark on the Inside of the 4wd.Yup, and proud of it!
20. You use an Ice Scraper on the inside of the windshield.
21. The AAA guy breaks down, you stop and fix his problem and get back on the road.
22. You'll drive 2 days at 600 miles a day so you can spend 2 more days driving 3 miles per day.
23. You have more pictures of your 4wd than of your kids.
24. You spend more time deciding which $3.00 bushing to use than you do on personal hygiene.
25. You take your date home early on a Saturday night so you can work on your 4wd. Can you guess that I'm single?
26. You call a scratch or dent, a beauty mark. LOL, Yup, sure do!
27. You roll it over and don't get upset.
28. You puke when you see a RAV-4.....or a Jeep
29. You pull into the Unplowed parking spots on snowy days.
30. You take your friends wheeling and they say, "Trail?; I don't see any trail!" Wow, I've heard that from anyone to ever ride in my truck
31. You've been forced to add CJ, YJ, and TJ to your spell checker.
32. It rains and you don't care if your top and doors are on or off.
I mud with my windows down b*tches!
33. You change your plugs in the parking lot at work while on break.
34. You get more heat through the holes in the floor than you do through the heat vent.Seeing as I have drain plugs and no heater, yes, this is unfortunately true
35. Every page of your repair manual has greasy finger prints on it. yes... Where is my manual?
36. Every car wash in town has banned you for life.
37. You feel sorry for someone in a $60,000 Toyota LandCrusier. Yeah, because it's a Yoda!
38. You are the only one on the street that doesn't plow their driveway. Screw that! The mud makes my yard grow!
39. You carry along enough tools to supply a small garage.
40. You nickname your 4wd after i.e.. the noise it makes, the last screw up on the trail, etc.
41. You can air up your tires without stopping at a gas station.I wish
42. You carry more extra fuel than what most of today's cars hold in their gas tanks.
43. You're constantly getting passed on the highway.Damn, I get passed in town!
44. When rendezvousing with a lady for the first time, you tell her that you're the one that smells like a 4wd.
45. Winter comes and you can't remember where you put the top.
46. Your wallet is always empty.So true, So true
47. You know how to reinforce the windshield frame near the wiper arm.
48. You carry along a replacement part for every driveline component on the 4wd.
49. You slam your door and pieces of mud or rust fall from your 4wd. Yes, theres still mud on there from Mudfest 9 months ago
50. You have to let the air out of your tires to get the 4wd into a garage.
51. Your parts department is on blocks behind your house. I wish
52. Passengers scream "Don't Roll It!" Yes, I get BAD body roll!
53. Your wife/girlfriend refuses to get in it. Ehh their loss, sucks for them
54. You think any tire that isn't waist high looks like a bagel.
55. You can't take a girl in a dress on a date without carrying along some steps.
56. You can't sneak into church late because the engine is too loud.
57. You get custom pin striping from trail brush. Wow, my truck must be straight custom then!
58. You get strange looks even when your truck is clean.I made this one up, hehehehe
59. You can see OVER a Suburban
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Your Personal CADD Monkey...
"The Universe without Music would be Madness"...