Ask him to at least take you out for dinner before he fucks you.

I have a Warn XD9000i in my Calmini bumper. It fits fine. They have a few models that pull 9500lbs that will fit also. The 12,000lb and higher may be physically too large to fit in the bumpers we have available. The rule of thumb I've heard is 2x the weight of the vehicle to be pulled or as big as you can fit.

As to the weight. My SLR torsion bars have never quit settling since I bought them, so it wasn't a big deal that I had to adjust them after putting on the new bumper/winch. They did sag quite a bit the first month or two.