The new version of swaring under oath:

"Do you sware to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you God, Buddah, Muhammad, Satan, and Jehova? If you believe in reincarnation, do you sware that if you lie under oath you will agree to return in your next life as a fly that lives off eating shit? If you are atheist, do you promise to tell the truth, and agree to show the judge your hands and take off your shoes to ensure no fingers or toes are crossed. If you believe or worship in the following religions noted below, do you sware to the higher power not to lie:
Witchcraft
Wicca
Witta
Pagan
Neo-pagan
Ceremonial Magick
Kemetic
Tameran
Discordian
Erisian
Chaos Magician
Gardnerian
Alexandrian
Reclaiming
Dianic
Norse
Asatru
Odinism
Shamanism
Hindu
Huna
Mama Chi
“Native” or Indiginous
Druid
Earth Religion
The Craft
Old Religion
Voodoo
Vodun
Santeria
Yoruba
Golden Dawn
Circle
Yoruba
Bruja
Cunandero
Silva Mind Control
Recon
Reconstructionist
Masonic Lodge
Oddfellows Lodge
Church of All Worlds
Laveyan Satanism
Crowley
If you're religion or secular belief was not noted, do you sware to not only tell the truth, but not sue this Judge for infringement of your religious practices?
You know, to hell with all that. There is afterall a 'Separation of Church and State.' Why don't you get on the stand and say whatever the fuck you want to without consequence. No need to bring a higher power into all this. Lie if you want, make up stories, do or say whatever makes you happy. Afterall, the 10 Commandments were removed from this building. Nobody gives a shit what you say. Nobody gives a damn to know that our laws and this country was built on Christianity. Thou Shall now steal, murder, commit adultery, give false testimony, covet, take no day holy, take the Lord's name in vain, and make yourself an idol. The prisoner may now me released, as our laws in general infringe on other people's religious practices. And by the way, will someone PLEASE change the Pledge of Allegiance, so that every religion is included. Better yet, can we ditch the pledge all together. While we're at it, let's dig up our forefathers graves and shit on their faces for creating such a horrible country that upsets and offends so many people."