With all the political crap kids have to deal with in schools, mixed with the derision and travesties of pedagogy and junk food and violence and peer pressure and sex too soon and assorted other bullshit, I think I'll just home school the little fucker.

"Okay, Jack, here's the part where Daddy's supposed to teach you math, but since Daddy sucks at math.....you'll be reading......what is this.....Bukowski. Mmmm'kay?"