Originally posted by jayhawk:
I can bring out a few things to cook up. What would you guys like, or what other suggestions you folks might have to bring. Just let me know.
Bring some cock. Don't know what cock is? Well then, read J's words of wisdom as defines and explains the variations of cock...
Originally posted by J:
Labor Day weekend at J’s place will be a festival of cock. But there may be some who are not familiar with this SWANKy vernacular. So, I thought it appropriate to give a brief description of the many types of cock we enjoy.
Cock, as we know it, is the abbreviated term for Horse Cock. Cock is both the singular and plural form of this noun.
Horse Cock: Bratwurst. If you’ve ever seen an uncooked brat, you’ll see how this connection was made. Credit for the original discovery of this connection goes to Andy’s brother, Dan. Being the sick and twisted mind that he is, Dan brought this vernacular from Wyoming to Arizona. Over the course of many SWANKy outings, we have made other such discoveries regarding different cock.
Cheddar Cock: A great advancement in cock was developed when some genius decided that putting cheddar cheese into brats would enhance the entire cock experience. Although we do not know the name of this great sole, much appreciation is given as we wipe melted cheese off our faces after biting into that delicious cheddar cock.
Yuppie Cock: This is a new type of cock that Flip discovered. Unlike the regular horse cock made of pigs’ lips and assholes, these cock are made from chicken or turkey. I guess some yuppies were upset over the unhealthiness of regular cock, and demand that the manufactures of cock develop a healthy alternative (those cock sucking wusses!). However after trying some of these yuppie cock, I will say that garlic/spinach cock are not bad. So I guess it’s not soooo bad after all.
Weenie cock: Hot dogs. Given that hot dogs do not have the girth nor the size of regular cock, they are therefore weenie in comparison.
Pony cock: Wiener links. This is for economy cock consumption. Pony cock come in bags of 50 or so cock for a very reasonable price. These cock are obviously much smaller than regular horse cock, thus the name pony cock. Although they don’t fill your mouth like regular horse cock (unless you like to stuff 4 or 5 in at a time, in which case you are some perverted freak), pony cock are quite satisfying.
Smoky Cock: A derivative of pony cock. Usually smoked in hickory or mesquite, smoky cock offer a nice alternative to regular pony cock when you are tired of that regular pony cock taste in your mouth. A common feature of both smoky cock and pony cock is that these cock tend to be rather shriveled. I guess this is a result of the preservatives they are packaged in. However the shriveled cock texture does not take away its taste.
Vienna Cock: Vienna Sausages. I truly believe Vienna Cock is a marketing scheme. It really is SPAM formed into cock shape nuggets ready for consumption. One of the benefits of Vienna cock is the juice surrounding the cock in the can. JW drinks this stuff after finishing off a can of Vienna Cock. This is even a little too hardcore for me but JW swears by the taste of that salty juice. You da man, JW!
Now we come to the preparation of cock. When you put cock into your mouth, you want every sense to be aroused. That’s why the preparation is critical to the total enjoyment of your cock.
Pony Cock, Smoky Cock, and Vienna Cock are cold cocks. Weenie cock can also sometimes fit into this category. They are easy to prepare. Simply unwrap these cock from their packaging and shove them in your mouth. Enjoy your quicky cock!
Horse Cock, Cheddar Cock, Yuppie Cock and Weenie Cock are hot cocks. While it takes some time to get these cock warmed up, the wait is usually worth it. First unwrap these cock from their packaging. Then place your unwrapped cock on the grill. You’ll want to slightly burn your cock on all sides (keyword here Flip is SLIGHTLY j/k). A perfectly burnt cock should be black, yet still juicy. And, as we all know, once you’ve gone black you can never go back. As the smoke rises from the your burning cock on the grill, the cock frenzy will start to take hold of you. And when you take the first bite out of that black cock, the feeling cock juice exploding into your mouth will be true ecstasy. Then you know you’ve got a good cock.
Well, I hope this treatise was informative, if not funny. And for those of you not lucky enough to join us on a SWANKy run, spread this cock vernacular in your local wheelin’ communities. Maybe someday, everybody will understand the true meaning of cock.
BTW: Ya lika da cock? Da cock is guhd, eh? Ya lika da cock jusz? Ooooh, da jusz is aspesizalie gudh! Enjoy your cock this Labor Day weekend, I know I'll enjoy mine! Yum yum.
There are other varieties not mentioned. The important thing is that cock is always a welcome addition to any meal.
Don't forget your favorite condiment (mine's mustard), relish, maybe onion, and of course a fresh, warm bun...
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